At least I can still feel pain.
But sometimes it's too much, And sometimes it's not enough. I don't want your numbers, they represent time, setting pace to a rhythm, but this rhythm has no rhyme. I'll paint my lungs in black, and all the walls in red, to remind myself, that I'm not dead. Her eyes matched the shade, of her lips that were stained, with the red from the vines, and the kisses she claimed. It doesn't stop, it just flies, the lonely aging of time, a reckless riddle with no rhyme.
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Darkness haunts you,
in the most beautiful way. I can't stop replaying, your hands and their ways. Trembled my body, I felt what you felt, I felt what you felt. How wrong it is, I love the marks, you leave on me. Bruises like tattoos, in hidden parts, average eyes can't see. How wrong it is, I love your twisted logic, explosive temper, beatifully tragic. Strike the pain out of me, which stings more, than anything you could do physically. I seek shelter in your body, only solace found in your satisfaction. Like I finally got something right, like you would stay for more than the night. Fill this sillhoette haunted by the cowards, not brave enough to wade through the waters. Drown it with the hope, you're so good at mocking. Soften this vignette, as if you're not like the others. Your voice as smooth as velvet,
your eyes they matched in blue. Promised of Greece, and sunsets, and I thought it to be true. Your curves etched out as David, your lies coated in gold. Fooled I once had been, as if I had never before been told. You worried of my curious nature, worried my tongue could talk and more. Double standards set in present, but you're equally a whore. I'm smoking cigarettes without you,
no matter what it's not the same. As the feeling of you wrapped around me, keeping me safe and sane. This heavy headache suffocates, and squeezes out all caught up thoughts, like when you pulled me back to kiss you, or how you left me to be lost. Empty out my lungs of air,
so I'm suffocated with your soul. Put your fingers through my hair, I'm your silhouette waiting to be full. I wanna know your ways,
the way you move, I hesitate. Got me thinkin', got me tired. I can't even feel myself, because I can't remember what it feels like, when you felt me. Uneasily numbed, by the sudden separation. Only sparks I feel aren't sober, only good I feel is pain, I wanna know your way of oblivion, so I can make it through the day. Like an anchor sinking under, down to depths I cannot see; I always had this faith in you, you never had in me. The last I heard was questioning, of your questions themselves. Always leaving room for chances, putting problems on a shelf. I wanna know your ways, the way you move, I hesitate. Got me thinkin', got me tired. I wanna know your way of oblivion, so I can make it through the day. You won't feel the highest highs,
if you haven't felt the lowest of lows. That dark in your soul, is lit by its own glow. And in the dead of the night, the empty pain in your chest; know that ease be from freedom, as you lay it to rest. Drink me in,
like you did your whiskey tonight. Tell me I'm yours, let's fall in love right. My body, your blank canvas, welcomes the strokes of your hands; to make me your masterpiece, and take me to far away lands. Where the clouds are in hiding, where the air is just right, no chance of interruption, when I look into your eyes, so. Drink me in, and hold me tight. Tell me I'm yours, let's fall in love right. So, drink me in, like your whiskey tonight. Drink me in, drink me, in. From place to place,
without a sound, I feel you here, I feel you now. And now your song, resonates in me, won't let me go, mama let me be. And the stars' always shinin' tellin me they're the way, but your actions they speak louder I can't hear what you say. Maybe the answer, is that I'll never know. Which way I choose, is the right way to go. There will always be more to learn, there will always be more truth to find. In my search of truth, I lost my heart inside my mind. Sharp pang,
spreads from within my chest. The fear of alienation, the fear of the forbidden, the fear of the truth. Chemical combination. It's strength pulling me in. Senses all around me, tensing from within. Warmth engulfs, my body though at ease. Confused which to listen to, the mind or a heart that tease'. To let go is to let in, to let in is to let go, one before the other, that of which no one knows. Sharp pang, spreads from within my chest. The fear of alienation, the fear of the forbidden, the fear of the truth. |
Sydne Kilberg"She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something." Archives
February 2016
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